The Ramayana and Indian Values

I really delved into the Ramayana this week. I love how our class discussions on India have helped me understand the family structure and cultural values within the story. For example, Rama has an extended view of family. Although his father has three wives, he sees them all as his mother and makes no distinction. This is portrayed as honorable. The step wife, , at first is happy for Rama's coronation. It is only when her devious companion convinces her that her own son ought to be crowned. She dishonorably tricks her husband into banishing Rama before his coronation.

Rama is the perfect man. He is strong and handsome. He is the best hunter. He honors his wife. He is a loyal son to his father. He chose to honor his stepmother's decree that he be exiled for fourteen years though his brothers and the kingdom urged him to stay. His brothers are completely free of jealousy. They love him and are devastated when Rama is banished. They vow to follow him. Bharatha returns to be king only when the gods order him.

Friendship is valued as much as romantic love. When Jatayu, the Great Eagle discovers that Dasartha has died, he is so upset he plans to immolate himself. The friendship between the two was so strong, Dasartha described it as "You are the soul, I am the body. We are one." On the other hand, romantic love is all consuming and passionate. When Sita first laid eyes on Rama she went mad with love. She burned with fever, she "became uncontrollably agitated...withering of her whole being....prattling involuntarily... she felt all the elements were combining to aggravate her suffering." Of course Rama is a little more subdued and manly "Although he had exhibited no sign of it, deeply within he felt a disturbance. His innate sense of discipline and propriety had made him conceal his feelings before other people." He is certainly affected, but on a different level than Sita. While Sita lives for her husband, she completes him.

Understanding the Ramayana will help me gain an better understanding of Indian values.  If I can begin to understand the stories and gods that make up the rich Indian culture, I can begin to understand the people, their motivations, desires, and beliefs. 

Cultural Values- Time Perception

Throughout my schooling I was known for being late. Whenever a substitute called attendance my name always warranted calls of "She'll be here, mark it down. She's just always late." My mother was always running late to somewhere or another and to me it was perfectly normal and acceptable.  We were eating a family breakfast, finishing up chores, or talking to a friend.  I never understood the stares and teacher's disapproval when I walked in the classroom twenty minutes after class began. It never really bothered me. Sure my report cards always had an obscenely high number of tardies, but I always had high grades and did my assignments. 

Having a different sense of time does not mean I cannot prioritize. My mother parented to the mantra "first things first". First things just did not include being on time. She never minded my being late. She let me suffer the "natural consequences" of missing the bus and I biked to school. I did not mind it and did not change. My mother always emphasized the ownership of time. Once we finished our chores early summer mornings we were promptly deposited outside where we would remain, building forts, swimming, fighting, holding lemonade stands until dusk. Those days could last a minute or a lifetime. 

I worked as a life guard on an air force base for a couple of summers. My time sense clashed like never before, but I also learned that I could change. My hiring interview concluded with "Being late is unacceptable. You call if you are going to be late, but don't be". I was nervous and it wasn't easy, but I arrived on time. I could overcome what felt like an intrinsic part of my character. 

During my senior year my baby brother became very ill. He was in the hospital for months. My parents did not leave his bedside for a month. When he was finally well enough, he was transfered to a hospital two hours from Tucson. With five children still at home, I became the primary caregiver. Brushing teeth, packing lunch, doing laundry, and school pickups did not lend itself to being on time or being in school much. After one too many arguments with the office secretaries (which usually ended in my leaving school anyway via a sympathetic security guard) my mother talked to the administration, allowing me to leave whenever necessary. I missed enough school to lose credit for the entire year. But the important things were taken care of, family and of less import, grades. 

During our class discussion, I realized the reason I experienced disapproval growing up. I am merely have a different time sense than the society I live in. I am very much a polychromic person living in a monochronic world. I lose track of time, I arrive late, I stay too long. There is no right or wrong way. I still get things done, I just do it in my own way. Yes, I will probably face more difficulties because my time frame and my culture's time frame are so different. I am capable of changing myself (my summer job proved that). I need to remember this during my field study. From what I have heard from Margaret, India tends to be more polychronic. Being flexible however, does not mean I do not have a schedule and a plan to finish things within a time frame. Understanding my tendencies as well as the expectations in my community will help me adapt and do what needs to be done. In my own time and way I can do (as my mother says) "first things first".