Gender, Feminism, and India

In our last class, we discussed gender roles. As Margaret asked what we considered men and women's traditional roles, I struggled to answer. I often feel divided when I consider this question. On one hand, I am quite a feminist. I can do anything, be anything, and resent anyone who tells me different. This may be a part of my competitive nature coming out (think "anything you can do I can do better"). I have struggled in the past reconciling my feminist nature with gospel doctrine. We know from the Family Proclamation to the world that gender is an essential part of our identity. I'll quote it directly "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners". 


I have realized that these two parts of my personality- my feminism and my testimony of the truth of the gospel- are not necessarily contradictory. The Lord's definition of female does not include the words submissive or subservient. The gospel is one of equality. " According to Helaman 12:7 " O how great is the ^anothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are ^bless than the dust of the earth." Or in the words of King Benjamin "are we not all beggars?" Women have different roles than men, that is sure. But we are not any less for it. Feminism too has evolved from its rigid image of the eighties: brightly colored pantsuits and high powered executive women that have no need for a man or a family. Feminism is really all about the power to make choices. Feminism should not become another expectation that women are expected to fulfill. 


While I have reconciled these beliefs, BYU has brought the dichotomy back to the front of my mind. I often have to remind myself after unkind remarks and insinuations that the culture and opinions of the members of the church is not necessarily gospel truth. I was shocked the first time someone questioned my choice of international relations as a major. What good is that? International work would be terrible for a family. He then suggested that teaching was a much better profession. I was infuriated. I (probably quite rudely) informed him that I was leaning towards medical school. Those comments were not the last. 


This post has gotten a bit off topic. While I finally feel comfortable with my my moral and personal role as woman, I question whether India will not shake those ideas again. Laura and I have been warned that as women we will have to be careful in how we interact with others. We cannot just make eye contact and speak freely with men. The buses are segregated by gender, and we need to dress like the Indian women (are they called saris in Tamil Nadu? I cannot remember). Male children are often treated preferentially as the heirs and future caretakers of the parents. I expect adjusting to a new culture that I may not always agree with to be difficult. However it is not my place to impose my western beliefs on their culture. Just as I chafe at the so called feminists who profess to advocate choice yet cry foul at those women they believe make the wrong choice, I will need to respect the culture and gender roles of India. As I will be working closely with women, this is an issue I will encounter. I am sure I will struggle to find the balance between being respectful and standing up for what is right, but it will be an enlightening experience (or an exercise in self control if nothing else).  

(Dowager Countess of Grantham from the BBC show Downton Abbey, a show chock full of exemplary feminists. )